No Advice Please

[kendiefox]

Perhaps the intended move is the wrong choice.


I haven't lived in the same city as J in 7 years, we have not shared a domicile in 8, and even when we did it was not great for anyone. And if this doesn't work out, I will be significantly worse off than before. I will be deeper into debt, I have no credit now, and will be far from family. They aren't the greatest at being there, but they've been there when I absolutely needed them to be.

When I treat her like a partner, I get a verbal shrug. When I ask for more communication I get monosyllables and non-answers. When I give voice to my desires it is like dust on the wind, a slight irritant that is easily forgotten. As I have been told by every single person I have ever attempted to be intimate with that I am too intense, I don't know how to approach this. I feel like I'm being rejected and I'm not even living with her.

I don't want to be her one-and-only, but I would like to feel like I have some importance in her life. Which is not the case right now.

Comments

[silveradept]

That's rough, and I hope things improve significantly soon.

[kendiefox]

We had a long talk that cleared the air. She was reticent because she was working through some things before broaching the subject. Communication may not cure all ills, but it can help some.

My anxieties just combined with my menstrual cycle and a whole lot of poor timing to create a bomb of garbage. I am still concerned about the consequences of my move, but less concerned about the effect my move will have on my relationship to J.

[silveradept]

Oh, good. Communication working is nice to see and hear.

[kendiefox]

Yeah. The situation is neither perfect nor completely resolved, but the issues we've both been wrangling with are out and acknowledged and now we can work on them as a team.